Broken Wings

Sentir que no cumples tus metas, que las ideas de ser grande, diferente y más fuerte se desvanecen por vivir en un pueblo de animales... 

Hoy solo amanecí triste. Quiero irme de nuevo

Epiphany

sin palabras, estrujado, conmovido. y muy muy pensativo.

don't compare ur life to others

work, doesn't matter what it is, just keep urself on the real world

TAKE A CHANCE

u haven't done it yet. so do it. do you really have something to lose?

'cause Mickey loves ya!

Looking back at those old pics, and just wondering about the way I’ve come from… I guess life just finds it’s way into cool and ugly stuff, into sadness and absolute joy… I feel now those tiny differences and how at times the smallest thing would make me go further, or stop me.

I keep my mind ready for the next challenge, although it seems I’m still afraid to take the next step. As if I forgot what crazy means, what living each moment gives to these moments we call life.

Time keeps passing by; this week I’ll most certainly remember old times as I’m meeting great old friends. And I intend to have fun, I intend to smile again, set my mind to perform those tasks I love. And stop this silliness so we can finally change subjects and advance eagerly into that beautiful stupid shit.

Limbo

Cuando no has trabajado por un tiempo, en mi caso el mayor desde que tengo 17 años, tu mente comienza a tener espasmos entre dudas y ganas insaciables por hacer algo más, algo increible. El miedo se apodera poco a poco y la inseguridad gana terreno. No podemos dejarnos ganar. No podemos darnos el lujo de mirar atrás y seguir diciendo “no he hecho nada todavía”.

Es momento de levantarse, trabajar con pasión. Trabajar aunque la paga sea mala, trabajar con orgullo y reconociendo que cada día toma mas voluntad y por eso somos gente más fuerte. Aceptando nuestras imperfecciones y pensando rápido en como resolverlas.

Tengo que aceptar que me cuesta mucho levantarme y mucho más convencerme de lo que hago; ser cocinero nunca será tan bien remunerado, ni será el sueño húmedo de un millonario. Pero es una vida de emociones diferentes y para mi, más intensas. De lucha con tu cuerpo y con tu mente para hacer de tus días algo memorable, glamoroso. Para moverte eficientemente, con estilo, con propósito. Porque la vida de un cocinero se resume en una palabra: Exigencia.

The Deal

Si me emputa algo es porq ver a alguien loco porq el ritmo de la musica este de acuerdo a lo q prende el encendedor... peor si era amigo, peor si parecía inteligente.

Y me hace entender porq soy como soy. intolerante y neurótico, pero con una imagen clara de lo que no quiero ser:

un junkie q se olvida de vivir.

quiero mas teleférico, mindo, año nuevo, sushi, pizza, cenas, parrilladas, risas, buenos planes y sobre todo seguir divirtiéndome tanto que la vida es de lo mejor. no la quiero todos los días, pero lo quiero en muchos momentos. Siendo productivo, dejando algo que pueda regresar a ver y estar orgulloso.

No impecables pero si impresionantes talvez?

Quito, 6:15 am

Manejando entre sueños, regreso a ver al cono blanco rodeado de cielo azul... miro al conductor a mi lado, atrapados en tráfico nos miramos desconcertados. Por qué le damos la vuelta a algo tan hermoso? La bruma apenas deja ver la ciudad que se empeña en absorver mi tiempo; el sol la golpea suavemente y los vientos frios me obligan a cerrar la ventana. sigo hacia ella, esperanzado, soñando todavia, soñando por mi vida, igual que el del auto a mi lado, al frente y detras. todos vamos a la lucha, todos te soñamos mejor.

ITALY

Country of ups and downs, truffle and dry sandwiches… you’ve surely taken a lot from me, and in the end I suppose you taught me a hell of a lot as well. Particularly drinking wine hoho!

Now, six months exactly, I think. When I first arrived I was this young boy with a dream and shitting my pants from fear. The panic went away, but I have to admit I’m still a bit afraid. Life has changed so much and so little. And this experience if not used correctly will easily fall into obscurity.

I learnt not to trust people. I learnt that sometimes battles can be lost, and I learnt that sometimes losing a battle does mean winning a war. I stayed trying overcome what I thought was a restaurant myth. But no, it was just managed by pretencious bastards. People who saw us (stagists) as stupid cheap labor.

That meant a battle never to be won.

And now, though, I think and hope that the new fears of coming back will prove unfounded. I pray that my debts on the financial but more importantly on the spiritual, to myself and others, will be paid with interest… man, the feeling that consumes me comes in the form of a golden M… that’s where I’ll never end up, what it represents is the death of my soul. (by the way I`ll be using they’re wi-fi in a few seconds hehe)

Still… concerning Italian food

-they have no clue that spices exist.

-they really don’t have a variety… and when u find it it’s so overpriced that it`s almost unreachable. Really, who said good food has to be expensive? In the means of paying 10 euros (15 dollars present time) should represent a very very decent dish in any other part of the world!

So that disappointed, lack of laughs. Lack of fun. Lack of food… irony? I bet

And a new reason comes now, I did find the glamourous and beautiful side of cooking after all… from people and sources never expected... I understood that sometimes, adrenaline, emotion and beauty come from simplicity. That life betrays you but somehow manages to amaze you.

I give my most sincere goodbye to this country, hoping that all the disappointments will, at some point, become tools to overcome, tools to become, and tools to succeed.

I did find a cheap awesome knife though hohooo